When a man feels drawn to a woman, he wonders how she’s feeling about him. In other words is she really into him too? Should he continue to try his luck or will he heading for the brush off? Gents, there are some signs which may, on the face of it, seem banal or even sometimes too obvious, which still escape you when you’re trying to chat up a woman… That’s why we want to give a quick run-down of seduction tips which it is essential to follow for a successful pulling operation (and have the added bonus of saving your time by letting you spot when she’s just not interested).
The concept of comfort is an essential first step in the process of seduction! No, you’ve not just come out of prison, no you do not deal coke, no you’re not going to carry her off tonight nor are you going to put a questionable substance in her drink because you’re a cool guy and above all a guy in whom she can have trust! But this isn’t necessarily immediately obvious. Girls need to feel reassured and only then will they be attentive to your seductive approach. If she finds herself in doubt, feels awkward or finds herself in a situation which is uncomfortable or even downright embarrassing for her, your date will be quickly cut short.
It’s pointless to invent your life story (and it’s also poor technique), just be courteous, polite, don’t go over the top, talk about yourself (including your family) and make your date aware of everything that makes you an ideal partner, even if it means pushing the “boy next door” angle a bit! Talk about your profession, your brothers and sisters, your friends, your last holiday, your dog if you have one and possibly even your grandfather whom you admire.
Ask your date questions to show your interest in her but do not be too abrupt or try to push the pace too hard. The golden rule of seducing women is to be able to analyse the signals that will guide you in setting the pace. Some women need time to learn to trust you while others lower their guard more quickly, opening the way to their heart (or to their bed).
Don’t try anything unless you’re absolutely sure that you’ve reached the right comfort zone because if your potential partner is not in the right state of mind, your romantic goose will be cooked (even if she liked you up to that point).
First, take the time to study her body language. Women use numerous signals in a form of non-verbal communication. Her attitude could be open (relaxed posture, expansive gestures) or it could be more closed (she has her arms crossed).
Secondly, follow her gaze. Does she have her attention on you or is she looking somewhere else? When a person feels comfortable in another person’s company, they are not afraid to look their interlocutor in the eyes. If, on the contrary, she is looking away or she is looking at her feet, the comfort indicator is at a relatively low point.
Does she chat spontaneously with you or are you the one asking all the questions? Women are subtle and will not (necessarily) have the courage to tell you openly that they are not interested in you. By contrast, they will tend to try to show you this by taking very little part in the discussion. If you have the feeling that you are talking in monologue, it’s not a good sign! (unless your interlocutor is particularly shy, only you can judge that).
Pay attention to the nature of the conversation. If the discussion stays formal and does not get more intimate one step at a time, then your date is not feeling particularly comfortable. On the other hand, when you start to feel that her reactions are becoming more spontaneous, that she reacts with dynamism, then she’s starting to come out of her shell.
Does she keep her distance? This aspect changes according to the degree of confidence we have with people. The more comfortable you are with someone, the closer you will stand to them physically (without touching them).
Does she actively engage with your? From the moment you sense that she has stopped feeling awkward about engaging in conversation with you, you know that her comfort level is going up. To know when she feels perfectly comfortable with you, wait until your exchanges become genuinely spontaneous. If you manage to make her laugh, you’ve hit jackpot!
It’s hard to know where and just when this charming young woman will feel totally safe with you, allowing you to seduce her. Many warm-hearted girls will show you some affection even if they’re not really the least bit interested in your… To know who these very sociable women are, you need to observe their reactions with other people around them because often they have that kind of attitude with everyone.
Your date’s enthusiasm is still the main indicator which will lets you know whether or not they like you. That said, don’t fall into the classic trap of assuming that because she enjoys being with you and likes you that she will accept your advances! This is the bottom line. Men tend to confuse the notion of comfort with that of desire. Women love to be seduced and some enjoy it more than others (or need it more than others). You could also come across a girl who lights you up and plays with your nerves just to reassure herself of her own attractiveness.
While some women will melt with desire for you after the first night at the restaurant (although it’s pretty rare…) others will need more time to get to know you and appreciate you. It’s at that point that you need to put away your weapons of seduction and awaken her interest. Seduction is not an exact science and fortunately as far as its concerned, whatever your original assets are, it’s experience which will help you to develop them. Try to improve your discernment by having plenty of encounters!